i am a creature of sensations. i am an organism of
mechanisms. i am a series of states.
these are what i am made of.
here you will find some that i wish to share.
. . . jump to the oldest? (⇥)
aououhhh
le tme melt into ithensdis didf
huuuuuuhhh.
rear-ended, and that sucks. spine a continuous plinngggggggk
five thousandths though
sucks a little less.
- 2025.03.29.22.30 (🔝)
i can be fine all day
but suddenly diesel smells overpowering
i hope i am not getting a migraine
hannah would say to take the medicine
but, the feeling is gone now
is that denial? or the capacity for change
- 2025.03.13.18.17 (🔝)
it isn't that I remember dying, it's just that I remember not being alive before. Not body-alive.
all I know is I am here, and I was not always here. And that I remember those days as well as I remember these ones.
I remember being dust in the air above Krakatoa. I remember being the ocean. I remember being a god, an earth, a man, a machine.
I remember when the iron in my blood was spinning hot and fast and flung itself out of the daystar like sweat from a dancer.
I remember when I was the dancer, and when I was the sweat, and when I was Sargent painting the jaleo, and when I was the oil and the canvas.
It is hardly that I was dead then.
I just wasn't this.
- 2024.11.23.19.24 (🔝)
she screams,
how she screams
twisting like fire-worked metal and with the groan of a building collapsing.
she is deconditioned. it hurts, it hurts like hell.
she whimpers and whines like the dogs.
I open my mouth to scream
- 2024.11.11.23.05 (🔝)
oh, oh, oh.
current status.
nearly two hours reading about usda soil taxonomies,
and trying not to cry.
o Cecil! o Decatur! Home of my home, land of my land.
blood and dirt and iron and clay
acid and pine and discarded sheets of muscovite
fuck
the loam is swallowing me up i am bathing in it i am devolving into it
do you feel the compaction?
the water is below, far below
i can almost smell the dirt as i dig
when will i taste you again?
- 2024.10.30.11.28 (🔝)
lovely the weather that feels so fine yet looks so miserable
lovely the weather that feels miserable and looks so fine
each gives the best of both worlds, in their own ways, do they not?
outside it seems a dreary autumn day. my uncle would say, it is a good day for staying in bed.
it is. it is a good day to have little to do but hum in the warmth.
to sip tea, pet the dogs, and doze.
- 2024.10.29.17.22 (🔝)
`i inaugurate.`
this is a speech act;
in saying, i do.
isn't that neat?
a word comes out, and a thing happens. a choice made, a bell rung.
i cannot take back my actions. what hands make, will always have been made.
i hope you like your time here
- 2024.10.27.18.44 (🔝)